According to Sternberg, when comparing your love triangle to your partner’s, it is best when ______.

According to Robert J. Sternberg's triangular theory of love, partners who have the same individual life "stories" should try to find connections between them. Sternberg believes that the components of the triangular theory of love—intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment—begin to develop in our childhood and will continue to evolve even after years of experience in relationships.
However, Sternberg opines that the childhood and adolescent years of psychological development are the most important in shaping how an individual perceives and practices those three components of love. For instance, Sternberg suggests that TV and film media could influence our notions of romance, whether for better of for worse.
Partner A could believe that passion is exclusive to physical intimacy and sex, while Partner B believes that passion is more holistic. This incompatibility in their perception of a love component could affect their relationship's balance and synchronicity. For this reason, Sternberg suggests that partners be aware and understanding of each other's individual personalities and history.
http://www.robertjsternberg.com/love/