How did the Revolutionary War affect colonial families?

By nature, war is designed to inflict pain on both military and civilians alike. While the military suffers from casualties as the result of battle, civilians are dramatically impacted in ways less traumatic in terms of being targets of military attack, but they still experience the effects of conflicts in significant ways. Colonial citizens that were non-combatants during the American Revolution suffered in many profound ways.
The most apparent impact on colonial families was that members of your family could be part of the militias fighting battles. Battles are fought by youth and commanded by elders. Farms would be deprived of their most valuable labor resources, young males. One reason the American colonial militias had such a hard time retaining soldiers was they could not afford the time away from their farms. History records General Washington paying soldiers a retention bonus out of his personal wealth to keep them from leaving when their enlistment was ended or right before the critical planting and harvesting season. Losing a valuable family member and farm resource was devastating to the local agricultural economies.
Colonial America was an agriculture community with economic roots deeply planted in the production of food or tobacco. Resources usually used by families to sustain them with surplus going to the market were severely disrupted. Some farmers sold their products to the British military, as they offered higher prices. Selling to the British was a risky proposition, as other colonists supporting the revolution would take a dim view of you helping the enemy. Many sold to both, torn between the ideas of the excitement of the possibility of a united independent colonial America and their loyalty to familial and business ties to Great Britain. Colonial America depended on the British in many ways, and breaking the relationship with what many still fondly thought of as the benevolent home country was not a decision to be taken lightly. War strained these relationships, and not all colonists viewed a break from Great Britain as beneficial or positive.
A famous military cliche is attributed to Napoleon— "An army marches on its stomach"—is an apt description for colonial militias and British soldiers. British soldiers would confiscate agricultural products, depriving families of food grown for personal use and sale. In some instances, crops and homes of the prominent growers were burned, with farms and farm implements destroyed to keep the products out of the hands of the colonial militias. If a farm was unlucky enough to be nearby the battlefield, British troops could forcibly remove you from your home and use your house as a military barracks.
With the disruption of the agricultural economy, trades and businesses that depended on the selling of goods to farmers took a big hit. Farmers could not afford to purchase new equipment or other farming materials, resulting in merchants going out of business. The domino effect is that with merchants going out of business, the need for imported goods became smaller. Coastal ports already suffering from a British Navy embargo saw a massive decline in port activity. In large cities, the squeeze on the ports resulted in massive unemployment, as port workers and port industries did not need workers. Displaced workers were left penniless with no options for work.
Colonial women may have suffered the most. The potential loss of their husbands or children to a battle was always at the forefront of their thinking. Colonial women had no property rights, and the loss of the male owner jeopardized the home they lived in. Colonial women were valiant in facing the difficulty of being left to manage a farm, continuing to raise any younger siblings not off to war, and living daily with the fear that at any moment a British regiment could demand the use of their home. Colonial women did everything they could to maintain as much of pre-war life as possible. During the conflict, many women formed groups providing clothing to both sides, depending on their loyalties. Some, as a way to support their families, became spies providing valuable intelligence and reconnaissance on troops as they moved through the areas. Soldiers from both sides were sometimes greeted by less-than-friendly females who protected their homesteads and children with great zeal, often showing their proficiency and accuracy in the use of firearms. Significant credit for the American colonial victories should go to the women who supported the troops from afar and tried to maintain as best as possible normal life on the homefront.
Family life in colonial America was significantly altered by the events of the Revolutionary War. It would be many years post-war until the colonies returned to life pre-war. The resiliency of the colonists was tested in similar proportion to the first settlers that came to the American shores to colonize.
http://americainclass.org/sources/makingrevolution/war/text7/text7.htm

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/divided-loyalties-107489501/

https://www.ushistory.org/us/11e.asp