Hermia faces dire choices when she appeals to Theseus to allow her to marry Lysander against her father's wishes. Theseus, upholding the patriarchal order, tells Hermia she must mold herself to her father's wishes and marry Demetrius whether she likes the idea or not. That Hermia is in love with Lysander and hopes to make a companionate marriage based on mutual esteem means nothing to Theseus at this point. He believes obeying the father is the most important consideration in a woman's marriage choice.
Therefore, Theseus tells Hermia that if she does not marry Demetrius, she will either face a lifetime shut up in a nunnery or the death penalty.
Hermia might have realized, had she thought about it, that Theseus, a ruler who is insisting the captured Queen of the Amazons, Hippolyta, marry him against her will, would expect Hermia to show the same obedience to a male authority figure.
Hermia, of course, deals with this by running away with Lysander. And later, Theseus repents of his harsh decision.
The dispute between Hermia and her father lies with the subject of her marriage. Hermia has two suitors. Demetrius is her father's preferred choice for his daughter to marry, but Hermia wishes to marry Lysander and refuses to accede to her father's wishes. To her father, Egeus, this amounts to an act of disobedience, with his daughter rebelling against his paternal authority.
In the play's first scene, Egeus and Hermia take their dispute before Theseus, Duke of Athens. In this scene, Egeus demands that, should Hermia continue to resist his wishes on this subject, she be put to death, in accordance with Athenian law. Theseus, taking Egeus's side in this dispute, holds that, in such situations, a daughter must submit to her father's authority, or else she will be either sent to a cloister or executed.
Ultimately, Hermia's response to this dilemma is to retreat with Lysander into the woods and flee from Athens.
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