It could be argued that both Tateh and Ruth run their households in a tyrannical manner. Why does Ruth succeed and Tateh fail? How are they the same?

The Color of Water is a memoir by American writer James McBride. The autobiography focuses on the life of his mother, Ruth, as well as James McBride's close relationship with her. Ruth was a white woman of Jewish descent who married James's father, Andrew Dennis McBride, an African American pastor during the 1940s, a time when interracial marriage was uncommon and looked down upon by society.
Ruth decided to abandon her family and her Jewish faith, mainly due to her father's tyrannical and devious behaviors. Her father, a rabbi nicknamed Tateh, was a hypocrite in his beliefs. Examples of cognitive dissonance include cheating on his crippled wife with other women whilst preaching the teachings of the Torah. He ruled his family with an iron fist and would even mock his crippled wife, bullying her in front of Ruth and the other children. There was even a passage in the book in which Ruth described her father getting into bed with his daughters, although sexual abuse and incest were never explicitly stated. The eccentricities of her father made her resent him.
Ruth also became disillusioned of her Jewish faith because her father was a rabbi, and his terrible behavior as a man of faith became linked with her disillusionment with the faith itself. Ruth was also a strict leader in her own family. James and his many siblings were prodded and monitored by their mother constantly as children. She emphasized the importance of education in one's life and ability to succeed in the world. In the modern Asian American community, this style of parenting by a mother is called a "tiger mom." Ruth was austere and perhaps somewhat tyrannical in nature, but it was in a different way than Tateh. The latter showed signs of psychopathic tendencies and seemed to derive pleasure in psychologically torturing his family.
In a sense, he was more similar to an actual tyrant imposing his dictatorial ways on his people. Ruth, on the other hand, ruled with love. This is why Ruth ended up raising successful children who admired and loved her, whilst Tateh will always be seen as a bad person, even if Ruth had finally made peace with him before her death.