How could the following dilemma be resolved, in keeping with Catholic teachings? A Catholic woman is struggling with a husband who is mean and verbally abusive. She has tried hard to make their marriage work and says that this is the man that God has chosen for her; she has taken a vow “for better or for worse.” How could a friend or family member convince her that God doesn’t expect her to stay in an abusive relationship and would understand if she decided to leave her husband? The couple do not have any children, and the situation is not healthy for this woman and is causing her to have anxiety and depression. What are some words of wisdom to let her know that God will not condemn her for choosing to leave? Or should she stay with her husband according to the Catholic faith?

It can be very difficult when life seems at odds with faith. According to Christian teachings, however, the light of God will never leave us, no matter how dark our lives appear to be. Without knowing more specific details, it is difficult to say what is right or wrong, but one can say this: God wants us to live in a way that spreads his light, which is contained within us, to others. To be the best person you can be, and to do the most benefit unto others, physical and mental well-being are important.
God knows suffering; he feels it in us and sees us all struggle with it every day. But he does not want his children to suffer needlessly. That is not his way. God wants us to be loved as much as he loves us.
“In sickness and in health” means marriage partners must care for each other, must stand by each other when physical or mental health declines, or in difficult situations that test their bond. To verbally abuse a partner to the extent that they develop anxiety and depression is itself going against the promise to care for and protect one another.
One option would be for this couple to consult a marriage counselor. It sounds as though they need outside help, and professionals are able to provide perspective that we at times cannot see. Although humans are subject to patterns of behavior, that does not mean people cannot change. The behavior of the husband may have underlying factors. Remember that we do not have the authority to judge people; only God does. The church can also provide guidance. Many people with marriage issues have sought help from the Catholic Church. If the couple are not part of a congregation, they are still able to seek this help as Catholics.