In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are well known for their roles in intervening (or not) in their children’s marital prospects, but they also serve as a cautionary tale in what can happen when an unsuitable marriage choice is made.
Throughout the novel, Mr. Bennet makes it clear that he has no respect for his wife. He treats her with disdain and ridicule and implies that enduring marriage to her is a trial. His disdain and disregard for her feelings are sometimes obvious to everyone but her, but sometimes even his feelings are clear even to her, as in his response to her accusation that he does not care about her “poor nerves”: “You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least” (p. 2).
He not only seems to care little for all the things that cause her distress but also seems to take delight in being the cause of her distress. For example, in the beginning of the novel, he deliberately withholds information about visiting Charles Bingley even though he knows it would immediately put his wife’s mind at ease.
Perhaps the most startling display of disrespect for his wife comes after Elizabeth rejects Mr. Collins’ proposal and he defies Mrs. Bennet’s demand for Elizabeth to reconsider: “An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do” (p. 83). Such words not only demonstrate the lack of any real respect for his wife but also forewarn of the unhappy result of making a poor choice of spouse.
In the book, Mr. Bennet treats Mrs. Bennet with resigned acceptance. He is aware that his wife is his intellectual inferior and possesses poor judgment in many matters. However, being a faithful husband, Mr. Bennet has elected to stay married to his wife. That said, many of the couple's interactions center on Mrs. Bennet's daily irritants and her all-consuming goal of marrying off their daughters.
Knowing that he has little choice but to listen to his wife's complaints, Mr. Bennet relies on sarcastic humor to divert Mrs. Bennet. The text tells us that Mrs. Bennet is a woman of "mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper." Knowing that Mrs. Bennet is incapable of deep introspection, Mr. Bennet uses humor to reduce marital friction between them.
For instance, when Mrs. Bennet chides her husband for refusing to visit Mr. Bingley in Chapter One, Mr. Bennet asks how his visiting the bachelor can affect their daughters' futures. Upon hearing this, Mrs. Bennet indignantly suggests that he's deliberately being obtuse. Certainly, she's thinking of Mr. Bingley marrying one of their daughters. Here's the rest of the conversation:
"I see no occasion for that. You and the girls may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, for as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr. Bingley may like you the best of the party."
"My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown-up daughters, she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty."
"In such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of."
From the above passage, we can see that Mr. Bennet skilfully wields sarcastic humor to divert Mrs. Bennet's attention. He may be resigned to living with her, but that doesn't mean he won't indulge in a bit of fun at her expense sometimes.
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